Tag: Dubai

11 Observations of Dubai from a Newbie

It’s just over a year since I crash-landed in Dubai, and I still find something every day that brings a smile to my face, a frown to my forehead, or an expletive to my lips. The list of anomalies is long, and the tapestry of characters rich and colorful. Dubai may seem superficial at first, but scratch the surface just a little, and nothing is what it seems. Here are 11 observations of Dubai from a newbie — can you relate?

  1. There is a solution to every problem

Moving countries is a headache. Doing it with no support as a single working parent is the stuff of enduring migraines. A significant logistical feat that’s as physically and emotionally draining as it is financially. Despite the overarching convenience of just about everything in the UAE, spending a few hours in the government “happiness” centers here is enough to push any sane person over the edge. 

Just when hope is lost to attest your documents on the other side of the world, open a bank account, or find a reliable real estate agent, you suddenly manage to get things done, and it almost always involves throwing money at the problem. Whether it’s finding a spaceman costume at the drop of a hat or getting your visa processed quicker, there is a solution for everything.

  1. You have to pay upfront

If draining your bank account on unexpected events wasn’t enough, the upfront costs associated with everything in Dubai will make your head spin. Whether it’s the big ticket items like rent, school fees, and furniture, or more minor things like a DEWA deposit, gym membership, or a Privilee account, having to shell out lump-sum payments for everything leaves you hemorrhaging money from every pore.

Haven’t they heard of monthly payments in the UAE? And what is up with chequebooks? The last time I saw a cheque, it was enclosed in a birthday card from my great-grandmother with instructions not to spend it all (£5) at once. As Dubai aims to be the cutting-edge tech center of the globe and the world’s first city powered by blockchain technology, isn’t this antiquated way of settling transactions a little bit at odds?

  1. Everywhere takes 30 minutes

It doesn’t matter where you are in Dubai or where you want to go; everything takes the same amount of time, even the short trips — unless you miss your exit and run into a five-mile tailback. There’s only one thing worse than being stuck in heavy traffic, and that’s being stuck in heavy traffic going the wrong way. 

  1. Google Maps is a driving hazard

Speaking of going in the wrong direction, guaranteed to add time to your journey is Google Maps. A staple in many parts of the world, Google Maps is a driving hazard in the UAE. Until you can master keeping left and keeping right simultaneously without crashing into the central bollard, you should probably switch to Waze.

  1. Having everything delivered to your door is addictive

When you can get everything delivered to your doorstep at any hour of the day, you suddenly want more things delivered to your doorstep at any hour of the day. Having a massage, manicure, handyman, chocolate doughnuts, or a full tank of petrol at the touch of a button is addictive — and expensive.

  1. You get really lazy

See above. Plus, you use the car a lot more than you do at home. Why walk in the blistering heat when there’s very little you can walk to anyway and always someone willing to deliver it?

  1. Eggs last forever

Is this normal? I don’t know what they put in eggs here, but they seem to last forever. I have never seen an egg with an expiration date so far into the future that it has time to hatch, grow up, and go to college before being consumed. Diamonds are forever, and in Dubai, so are eggs.

  1. Bling is the thing

I was prepared for the bucketloads of money and superior styling habits of Dubai’s elite, but even the soccer moms? It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m wearing, I am always underdressed in Dubai. When everyone from a supermarket attendant to a yoga teacher is flawlessly groomed, from the top of their perfectly threaded eyebrows to the tips of their manicured toes, you ultimately find yourself doing it, too. Bling is the thing in this part of the world, and you have to step up your game.

  1. The school run makes you lose your will to live

Even if you’re not a parent tasked with this ad-nauseam daily duty, you’ve probably run into a school run. And you know how painful it is. If you thought the behemoth 4x4s were to go offroad in the desert, you were wrong: they’re to climb up the curbs and conquer the sidewalks so the children reach their classrooms (and Jumeirah Jane gets to pilates) on time. With yummy mummies dripping in Fendi and Juicy Couture at 7 am, feeling underdressed in a swanky restaurant’s got nothing on the school corridor, the runway of Moscow’s finest.

  1. There are more speed cameras than people

I’m not sure if that’s an actual fact, but it certainly seems like it could be. The pimped-out offroaders may seem unnecessary, but at least they can cause useful traffic infractions. What purpose the lines of brightly-colored Ferraris and Lamborghinis parked outside the 5-star hotels serve is beyond me. When you’ve only got 100-meter stretches between each speeding ticket and mountain-high speedbumps around every residential area, your opportunities to go full throttle are few and far between.

  1. The plumbing is really screwy 

Even if you’re lucky enough to live in a more modern development, you probably have no cold water in summer. If you live in an older one, you’ll have scalding water pumping out of the shower and yellow water in your kitchen sink. The off switch does nothing to affect the temperature. The electrics are wired backward as well.

They say it takes a couple of years to get used to Dubai, but I think you could live all your life here and be perpetually surprised. There’s no place like the UAE for living your best life and being your best self —but there are plenty of speedbumps along the way.

Another Trip Around the Sun

Sunrise Arabian Ranches

It’s July 4 once again, and my American friends are busy celebrating my birthday. I have lots to be grateful for this year, too. It’s been an epic one. Despite my tendency to recognize the achievements of everyone but myself, even I’ll admit I did pretty good. The last 12 months have taken me from Europe to the Middle East, from lush rolling hills and wild frothy waves to arid deserts and melting sunsets.

The differences have been stark and the challenges enormous. Would I have done it if I knew it would bring me to my knees, leaving me almost financially, physically, and emotionally crippled? Would I have taken on the bureaucracy, the formidable school run, or managing our lives in two continents simultaneously while full-time working and parenting? 

Well, probably, yes, let’s be honest. This permanent state of discomfort seems to be where I am most at home. And the two little ones that accompany my path are arguably even more enthralled by the call of the unknown, and the chaos and wonder of it all. 

One of the kids’ favorite books is The Whale and the Snail, about two unlikely creatures that travel the world together. “She gazed at the sky, the sea, the land, the waves and the caves and the golden sand, she gazed and gazed amazed by it all, and she said to the whale, I feel SO small.” That snail is a kindred spirit. That story makes me feel so alive.

My 20-something self had it figured out when I wrote, “Nothing is more valuable than the memories I create and there is no greater gift than time.” But somehow I veered off track. I lost myself for a while. The cycles of abuse, trauma, grief, loss… life had become a burden. I felt far from the travelling gypsy with her head in the clouds and her passport in her pocket. No one dreams of falling into a bad marriage, or becoming a single parent. This journey has had its ups and downs. 

Last year, I raised a glass to health and prayed for this next leap into the unknown to succeed, personally and professionally. I scrunched my eyes shut and wished to recover my sense of wonder, and I prayed for friends to celebrate my birthday with. Today, I smile as I write these words and reflect on a year with many more stamps in my passport and memories that will endure for life.

Of lush green jungles and ramshackle markets, opulent mosques and 5-star hotels. Crisp Omani bread and dancing dolphins, the clicking of geckos and the thrill of the waves. The shriek of crows circling at prayer time, Karaoke bars, bratwurst and kimchi, spluttering tuk tuks, towering skyscrapers, and expensive bottles of wine. Paddling pools, play dates and parks, breaking-down rentals, and dancing till dawn. Grinning from ear to ear at the kindness of strangers, and bawling my eyes out at the courage of my kids. Conversing with people from every corner of the world living their own stories and being part of mine. My cup runneth over this year. 

Without realizing, I gave myself the biggest gift of all for my birthday last year. I gave myself back the world. I feel like a little kid again staring at the map on the playroom wall, contemplating the enormity of it all. We don’t know what our fate will be, how long we have left on this planet or how many more 4ths of July we will have. As a very wise Portuguese lady said to me when her best friend’s brain scans came back riddled with tumors, “Temos que vivir intensamente”. Let’s suck out all the marrow of life for the blink of an eye we are here.

Tonight I will celebrate my birthday with friends in Dubai. Next month I’ll catch up with more in Portugal, England, and Canada. I’m everywhere again and surrounded by people who left positive memories in my mind and immutable footprints in my heart. The roll of the dice I threw last year took me many miles further away. Yet somehow, mysteriously, brought me closer back to me.